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I just Can't....

Affirmation: "I matter."

I can't blog without acknowledging the state of our world. I honestly can't believe things are this bad. I can't believe that people feeling justified in taking the life of an innocent person. I can't believe that situations that are visibly wrong, unjust, unfair, and down right cruel, are even up for debate.

I have had to take a step back to process all the events that are happening around me. Normally, I don't allow the news to get to me, but this hits home. It hits home because it could have easily been me. It hit's home because the color of my skin has made me to a target. And it hits home because justice is a foreign term that doesn't seem to apply to people with melanin.

On top of all of that, we have Covid to deal with, our Seniors have missed out on a major pivotal point of their life, and we still can't go anywhere.

With all of that, let me say that it is okay to be overwhelmed, to grieve, to cry, and its okay to be angry. Feel how you want to feel because you are justified. Did I know George Floyd? No, but that doesn't dismiss my grief for him and the injustice that ended his life.

I don't know another answer or solution outside of prayer. I want to protest, but in all honestly, I'm scared to protest because me going to protest could result in me not making it home to see my daughter. I don't want to be another hashtag, and I have to navigate as a parent to raise my daughter so that she won't be a hashtag either.

But how do I do that? Do I teach her to fear police? Do I tell her to stay away from white people? Do I tell her to keep her head down so she can stay out of the way? Do I tell her to be the voice of her people so that she is even more of a target? I really don't know, but what I do know is how to pray.

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