Well in being completely honest, this week I wasn't going to blog as a matter of fact, I was going to take a low-key vacation and come back like "hey y'all!" in December. But, I'm not going to do that... So, I'm saying "Hey Y'all!" now LOL.
Honestly this entire month has been super sad for me, like crying everyday kind of sad, because this is the month that my daughter's father died and y'all it's been hard.
Nevertheless I know my purpose and this is it.
I got convicted when I told a man about my blog and essentially my business I told him that the purpose of my blog was to equip women to where they saw themselves for who they were in God and not seek validation through the world. And by telling him that, it brought me back to a time in my life actually not that long ago where I needed others validations especially in my marriage. I'm not saying that I got married to validate myself but after I was married I expected my ex-husband to do and say certain things that would make me feel better as a woman and he didn't . I'm not saying that I wanted him to build me up but a compliment or two would have been nice and that wasn't given or maybe I just don't remember, who knows LOL. But in all seriousness I know that by following what God has told me to do I will be able to make it through what I am going through. Because how can I tell somebody else to smile when I'm not smiling myself? It makes sense to me I always say that you can learn just by listening and watching and through my story and my testimonies and my life lessons I pray that you are blessed. Needless to say I might put in a vacation week or two for the holidays but I will let y'all know.
I know that my blog and my business is not where it's supposed to be right now but I believe if I continue to work and be obedient to God that He will provide the increase, provide the blessings and provide my spiritual healing. Depression is real, anxiety is real and I'm not ashamed to say that I am 'there'. I've never kept it a secret that I've always struggled with anxiety and depression and right now in dealing with this, I'm just sad. Extremely sad. Some people have the gift to lift and carry others even when they themselves need lifting and carrying and that person is me. I never thought that it was, but it is.
I remember about 5 years ago a woman whom I love and respect told me that I was going to minister to women of all ages I didn't believe her but at that time she prophesied what I would go through within the next 5 years. Sometimes we never know our purpose or our assignment or we overlook it because it's not what we want or what we thought, but it comes natural. Truthfully, I have always wanted to help people in any way that I can however I've also always been a tell it like it is type of person and through that God has allowed me and showed me how to help others and tell it like it is but with love because everyone can't handle the whole truth.
I don't think that any of our assignments will be easy but I do believe that one day it will all be worth it and God not may not reveal to you your entire assignment at once but through prayer, fasting, and growing in God, the the assignment that God has destined and designed you for and placed in your soul, and customized your mantle to activate will come to pass. (Y'all purpose is deep.)
I've noticed through the years that God has blessed me because of obedience. Obedience is a sacrifice... because sacrifice what we want to do for what God wants us to do, and He will reward your sacrifice.
& I'm continuously praying for perception through it all.