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I wonder...


I have said this once and I will said it again, and again, and again until I stop believing it, "There's always that person who will hold a 'what if' in your heart" or a situation that you wish would have turned out differently. I have also said this previously (I don't know if I have said it on QueenMe, but I've said it.) Every man has a woman that will make him do right by her because he doesn't want to lose her.

So there is this guy (lol) We've been apart of each others life for close to 9 years. We were friends, dated, broke up but over the years he has remained my male best friend give or take a few periods throughout those 9 years. Out of all of the men that I have dated, talked to , etc. he has probably treated me the best because he understood me on a different level. I was there when he grandfather passed, we were friends through failed relationships, he knows my family (my mom loves him) and we definitely have a level of comfort that caused me to always wonder if he was the one.

After my daughters father died, I went back to him (as a friend) because I wanted to be comfortable and vulnerable with someone who knew me, knew my heart, would not judge me and would love me through the situation. I assumed when everything was said and done that we would be together, get married, have kids and live a long life together, putting God first and each other second. (No one could ever take the place of my daughters father but I would count it as a joys and an honor to have him as a male figure in my daughters life.)

Long story short...God allows you to experience different things for different reasons. I believe that every man that I have ever come in contact with and every situation that I have every gone through will ultimately allow me to embrace my destiny and will also allow me to love my husband, my child and my family the way that God ordained me to love them. Whether it be him or Channing Tatum (Please let it be Channing, sweet Jesus!) , my heartbreaks will allow me to love beyond words.

I no longer wonder about this particular guy because he seems to be happy and we are still good friends. He has someone and I have a situation that may or may not be worth fully mentioning (lol). I will say that what God has for me is for me in any and every aspect of my life. If God wants something to be established it will be and there would be, will be and is nothing that anyone would be able to do about it.

After mhy daughtes father died, I naturaly thought of hm to


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