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Writer's pictureQueenMe

For Times' Sake...


I would step on a limb and say that majority of you reading this, have been in a no good relationship and the only thing binding you to that person, was the amount of time that you had invested, that you didn't want to throw away.

I'm not scared. I've been that woman. I've stayed when I have known without a shadow of a doubt, that the relationship was going nowhere. I've stayed when I was being emotionally abused. I've stayed when I was cheated on. I've stayed when I was disrespected. I've stayed because I was comfortable being miserable. (Yes, you read that correctly!) I've stayed because I didn't know what else was out there. I've stayed, just to stay.

One of my ex-boyfriends was so mentally abusive to me, that he would find a reason to curse me out and call me out of my name (something as simple as letting the phone ring too many times) and I would apologize to him. (Yes, you read that correctly too!) I stayed with him for almost 2 years, because I loved him, and at my age, 2 years was a lifetime.

One day when he was cursing me out, I realized that I hadn't done anything wrong. (Honestly even if I was wrong, I never deserved to be verbally devalued.) In that moment, I decided to take my 2 years with him, and apply it as a lesson learned.

There is no such thing as wasted time when you have the opportunity to grow and to learn, not only about life, but learn about yourself. My ex taught me and showed me first hand what love is not. I now know the signs of an abusive and controlling man because of the time that I spent with him and I love him for that.

It's never wasted time when it's a lesson learned.


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